Sunday, December 2, 2018
Friday, November 23, 2018
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
My diagnosis
January 1 2018 started just like ever other year, hopes and dreams for the new year. We never see or expect life changing events, it is not something we look forward to. In January I was working two full time jobs. It appeared that we were on a path to finally getting ahead. In March I started to have muscle spasms, and cramps. I was a little concerned but not alarmed. In April my hours changed at work and I could no longer work at all my houses so two full time jobs became one full time and one part time. In May I went on a mission trip to Chinle AZ. I had a very hard time walking, and fell a few times. It was then I realized I needed to go see a Doctor. When we got back I made a appointment to see my doctor. Couple days later I had a appointment. He evaluated me, I told him what was going on and about the spasms and cramps. He gave me a magnesium infusion, and took some blood samples. A few days later my world was turned upside down! My past came back something I had hid and not confessed or dealt with. My wife and family had to step away for a short time to deal with what I had done. About a week later after this came to light, once again our world was ripped apart! I was at work and had taken the gentleman I take care of to a picnic, when it was over I took him. I was helping him with his shower when I fell! Unfortunately I grabbed the shower chair causing it to tip over. He fell in the chair hitting his head on the floor. I called for help cause I couldn't get him back up. The paramedics arrived taking him to the hospital. A few days later he had a brain aneurysm resulting in his death unrelated to the fall. After I had fallen at work I called and made another appointment with my doctor. When the appointment arrived he evaluated me again and stated I believe you have a tumor on your spine, he ordered a MRI. The MRI was completed in the middle of June, it would be a couple of weeks before I would get the results. It showed I had a bulging disc. A appointment was made to see a orthopedic surgeon in September. In August one month to the day my wife and family returned home. During this time away my wife still supported me being by my side as these events were unfolding. We were greatful I didn't have a tumor on my spine, but were concerned about how bad the bulging disc may be. September appointment arrived, as the doctor was explaining the MRIs asking me about my symptoms. He said the bulging disc is not bad, it should correct on its own. Plus it should not be causing all the symptoms you are exhibiting, it could but I wouldn't bet on it. I want to set you up a appointment for a EAG and see a Neurologist, and a orthopedic specialist to get a ,prosthetic for your ankle. A couple days later I had my EAG and the Neurologist said I need to see you soon, it can not wait till Nov 1. I asked him what the test showed? He said I had neuropathy, but he had to review the data to see what kind. The following week Sept 17 I had my appointment with him. He said the diagnose that would rock my world the very words I was not prepared to hear. He said it appears you have ALS. I didn't know what to say, or how to respond. He said I want to do some more MRIs and more blood tests. He was trying to disprove his initial diagnosis. We went out to the van and prayed to God. Following this I fell at work again this time at my second job. I had to step away from this job. So now I have one job, which is only 32 hours a week now. This would only go on for a few more weeks. At the beginning of October I fell again at work. At that moment I knew I could no longer work safely. So I took my vacation, and started thinking about what I was to do. The test were done on Oct 11, then on October 22nd I got the news that he was unable to disprove his diagnosis, that he was almost certain I had ALS. He made me a referral to a neuromuscular specialist in Oklahoma City. On October 23rd I made it known that I had been diagnosed with ALS. A week later my wife and I celebrated our 23rd Wedding Anniversary. During this time it is a emotional rollercoaster. We applied for my SSI, and other benefits. We contacted the Oklahoma ALS support foundation. It took us two weeks to get the insurance approval and the appointment scheduled for my neuromuscular appointment. Had the appointment on November 20th after a evaluation he too believes I have ALS! More test to come!
Don't be sad for me, for I am going to do what I love to do for as long as I am alive! "I may have ALS, yet ALS dosen't have me!"
Friday, November 9, 2018
Sunday, November 4, 2018
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Saturday, October 27, 2018
Friday, October 26, 2018
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Monday, October 22, 2018
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Still here
Besides the poems, I really haven't done any writing in my book or updated my blog in sometime.
A lot has happened in our Nation, that I have been silent on. Significant changes have happened in my family and personal life.
For the most part I have been taking everything in. Very little chatter or engagement on political post on Twitter or Facebook. If I was to start somewhere I really don't know where I would start. I'm very opinionated on politics and my faith. But sometimes you just need to take a step back and focus on what is important in your own life and family.
Soon I may start posting in my blog, doing regular updates. Till then I am still alive.
Orlando Houston
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Worship
The Lord our God takes worship very seriously. In the old testament we see where priest and others where struck down for improper worship. In the new testament we see where Christ says we honor Him with our words yet our hearts are far from Him! Do we today truly worship in truth and spirit? When we give our tithes and offerings are we doing so with hatred, spitefulllness, and unforgiveness in our hearts? If so than we are not worshiping in truth and spirit! The bible says to leave our gift at the altar and go and make amends with our brother and then come back and offer our gift! It is time for us to start worshipping the way God has called us to! It is time for us to take it seriously for God takes it seriously.
Sunday, August 12, 2018
The Fall
In this prison cell bound in shackles and chains a ship upon the stormy sea tossed and torn about
I say I have faith, but our world is falling apart. I have forgotten who I was in Christ! Turning to this world for answers and comfort. Depression and worry sprouted up and began to consume me. I was falling fast turning to my old life that was dead
What people think they see, is not actually what they see. Looks are deceiving they don't see the battles we wage on the inside. We put on a smile and tell everyone we are all right, when in fact we feel as though we are dying on the inside!
Christians face and battle depression, anxiety, addictions, anger issues and the list goes on and on. Even with our spirit being made new! A new creation! The old one being put to death! Our flesh and body continues to live on, in it we battle! It is in God we get our strength through Christ!
It is incorrect to say "God will never give me more than I can handle"
It is when we hit that point of total weakness that we turn to Christ and say Lord I can not do this on my own! You alone our my strength my foundation, my strong tower! You are the one who can and does bring me peace in this storm I am in! At Your Word you can and will calm the wind and waves! For if we admit we are weak that we can't do it on our own, that is whem God through Christ gives us strength for it is His strength that brings us through. Making us more than conquerors!
I came very close to losing my wife and family due to my own actions. I feel into a depressive state at times wanting to take my own life! I did not see any reason to go on living. I cried out to God who gave me the strength to carry on. Even though it was just a month of separation it was a very dark time that almost consumed me! During this time I reevaluated my life, things had to change! With the things coming to light I had done, it changed us all! We could allow it to divide us, or draw us closer to God and return drawing us closer together! We are not the perfect family, we too have our struggles, yet we have learned to turn it over God! It is His strength, love, mercy, grace and peace that holds us together enabling us to show the forgiveness that is needed to move forward instead of it seperating us as the world would love to see.
We were weak it was more than any of us could stand! It is by Christ's strength that we are here today as a family.
Monday, April 2, 2018
Dreams
Dreams do come true!
Since I was a young boy I had a calling upon my heart to Preach, to be a Pastor a shepherd of a church!
Even with this calling upon my life I chose to ignore it for many years. Living a life of this world running from God!
On a Spring day I gave my life to Christ, a year later I announced I was called to Preach, a year and half later I was licensed to be a Minister of the Gospel. Since that I have preached at Various churches even in the prison system. Still with a desire with in me to be a Pastor. Then on the 9th anniversary of my Salvation a church hired me as their Pastor!
Dreams do come true, wait on God, be still snd know He is God! Lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge God in all that you do and He will direct your path.
Next dream is also on the verge of coming ture a book on my life is at the publisher waiting on approval.
Dreams do come true
Thursday, January 18, 2018
The day our lives changed
It was January 18, 2014 a ordinary Saturday or so we thought as our day started. It was just 11 days till Alyssa's 7th birthday, she was getting excited trying to plan out the perfect birthday party.
I would be at a ministry training in Pryor, and my wife Lisa and daughter Alyssa would be going to a little girl's birthday party that was in Alyssa's class at school. The two older daughters Taylor and Brittany decided to spend the day at home catching up on some teenager sleep.
I had been volunteering at a local ministry center where they provided food and clothing to those in need, and was asked to attend a ministry leadership training at a local church. The training was scheduled to last till 4pm. I meet up with the members of my group Valerie and Art and we proceeded to our assigned table. The number of people were few, less than expected. The discussion was light as we moved through the material. We decided to work through lunch to finish up the training quickly.
It was 2:30 pm when I left the church, I decided to stop by and see my wife and daughter who were attending a birthday party at the bounce house in town. I parked my car beside my wife's van and went inside. At the reception desk set a young lady who looked like she would rather be anywhere else than there. I approach the desk and asked "where is the party at?" The young lady pointed to a door and said "through that door and to the left." As I went threw the door I could hear the children screaming and laughing, as they jumped and tumbled on the inflatables. I saw my wife at a picnic table talking to some of the other parents there. Alyssa ran up to me and hugged me, saying "Daddy I want to have my birthday party here please!" I laughed and said "We will see, let your mother and I talk about it" Alyssa replied okay, and went back to playing with her friends. I went over to my wife sat down beside her, telling her I loved her and that the training had finished up early, and that I decided I would stop by to see how they were doing. I sat there for a few minutes listening to the conversation my wife and this other lady were having, when I decided to go. I told my wife I was heading home. Lisa replied "You want me to walk you out?" I replied if you want to, it would be nice if you would I want to talk to you about something. She replied okay and got up walking with me outside. Once outside Lisa wrapped her arms around me and said what's your hurry? Well, I replied I would like to go to this new church I visited today, they are having a revival. I think we should check it out. I also feel I need to get home and check on the girls at least have them get ready if we decided to go. Lisa gave me the look with the raised eyebrow that I strongly disliked and he said what? She replied do we have to? You know how I hate going to new places where I don't know anyone! I said it will be fine we already decided we would look for a new church in February anyway and I would like to check this one out, I hear they have a outstanding children and youth ministry. Lisa sighed and said if we have time when we get home. I replied okay, I love you kissing her good by then saying I'll see you when you get home, I'm going to go check on the girls. I got into my car and headed home it was about 3:00pm.
I walked into house at 3:20pm noticing right way the girls had cleaned the house and done the dishes. Taylor and Brittany where in their rooms setting on the beds. I thanked them for cleaning the house and ask them to get around because we where going to go check out a new church that night. The girls grumbled, as they went and got their hair straighteners plugging them in, so they could do their hair. They went back to their rooms to find something to wear, when I smelt something burning.
I said girls! Did you leave a skillet on? They replied no we didn't clean any skillets or cook anything! I said do you smell that? I smell something burning! The girls then said no, it's probably just our straighteners. I said no, it's not that type of smell! I began to look around the house went to the kitchen and proceeded to the utility room. I reached down to open the door when I did I saw flames shoot out of the dryer like a blow torch! I quickly shut the door, then hollered loudly girls get me the pets water the dryer is on fire! I went himself quickly to get the water after saying it, the girls came running out of the room. When I came back I opened the door again the entire utility room was a blaze! I dropped the water slamming the door shattering the glass in it. I screamed get out of the house it is on fire! The girls quickly were trying to get what pets they could and get out! I frantically called 911 and through a broken voice said our house is on fire! The operator ask is everyone okay? I said yes me and his girls where headed outside. The operator replied I have notified emergency services and they are on their way! Taylor and Brittany crying visible upset. They told me we couldn't find all the cats, only Baby the dog came outside. I frantically tried to call my wife several times to no avail she wouldn't answer. I grabbed my daughters holding them tightly thanking God had kept them safe. The house was engulfed with smoke bellowing out when the fire department arrived. I called my sister n law and Pastor telling them what was happening. I tried calling my wife again and still no answer. In a very short time his brother n law Charlie and sister n law Barb showed up. The girls ran to them hugging their aunt, crying and clinging to her. About that time Lisa came driving up the road following a emergency vehicle down our road. When she saw the other emergency vehicles she thought those look like their at my house? She pulled along side the road parked behind her sister's explorer. I ran to her saying I have been trying to call you! She replied sorry my phone was on silent, her eyes filled with tears she watched them fight the fire. Alyssa started crying loudly asking about her animals. I picked her up and with a broken heart apologized saying sorry sweetie we could only get Baby outside, Miley, was the only cat outside. She cried and asked about her frogs? I told her we didn’t have time to get them, Alyssa laid her head on my shoulder as I hugged her. About that time our pastor showed up with his wife, I went over to talk to him, Lisa was talking to her sister. About this time our landlord Gale came over, and I explained to her what had happened. The Red Cross arrived and begin to talk to us asking of our needs. We told them the only thing we got out was what we have on, the girls didn't even have shoes on yet. The fire department was finishing up checking for hot spots and said shortly we cold enter the house.
When the fire marshal said it was okay to go in Lisa and I went inside followed by JR our pastor and our brother n law Charlie. The house was a total loss if it was not smoke damaged or burnt it was water damaged. The tears rolled down Lisa, and my face, the memories and life we had built together gone! The pictures on the wall just a burnt reminder of our children growing up. I went to my knees with JR and Charlie by my side, in front of a picture that had Christ knocking at a door. that was my grandmother's it hanged on the wall behind her chair for as long as I could remember. I got it after my grandparents passed away. It was just a melted reminder of what it once was. I wanted to cry out God Why did you allow this to happen? But what came out was "God this isn't about us, it's about you and the growth of your kingdom!" At that moment I thanked God for keeping my family safe, and that He never left us. Little did we know what laid in store and how our lives would change! .....
Sunday, January 7, 2018
What is Grace
Have you ever questioned your salvation? Have you ever felt guilt for sins you have confessed? Do you feel guilty cause you keep stumbling or cant kick a habit? Are you tide up in legalism trying to do what you think is right? STOP beating yourself up! You are SAVED BY GRACE, and THERE IS NO CODANATION for those IN CHRIST! You can not keep the law. The law is there to show that we need a Savior, we can not do it on our own, and God knows that. That is why its by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Its not of works, lest any man should boast.
When we sin the Holy Spirit will convict us of that sin, but will not beat us down with doubt and guilt, that is of the Devil. Grace what that means has hit me hard, its one of those words I’ve read a thousand times and just look over it. Not grasping what it truly meant. The other day I posted a question” What does grace mean to you?” The definition of grace is Gods free and unmerited favor for sinful humanity. In other words it’s a gift From God to us sinners. A gift that we do not deserve, a gift that we can not earn. No matter what you do, even if you kept ever comment there is you can not earn Gods Grace. Wow! So stop trying to earn it!
I recently have been questioning my salvation, praying to God asking Him “Was I like the Pharisees? Was I being a legalist thinking I shouldn’t do this? I can’t watch that show, or that movie, or listen to this type of music? I was delivered of alcohol and nicotine along with the desire to use drugs, yet I cast judgment on those that drink, smoke, watch certain things or listen to certain music. If I was saved why am I battling this and other reacquiring sins? By the way things I do am I doing them to earn righteousness? Am I just doing works? Was the door closed to me? Am I spiritual blind? Have you God turned me over to my sinful desires? If so am I trying to earn my way into heaven with things I claim to do for the kingdom?”
This was what I prayed; knowing if I was lost my prayer fell on death ears, for Gods face was turned from me.
Around Christmas and my birthday I stumbled and sinned greatly, my witness for Christ was harmed. I begin to look at were I was with God. As I said I had been praying. Wednesday I was setting at a truck stop in Carlisle, Ar doing some Bible study putting together a future message, when I had a very strong desire to go across the street to a church for their service. The pastor said the message was for him, cause he was beating himself up over some failures. Little did he know that it was also for me. God put me there at that time to heart that message. Upon hearing Gods Word and seeing how God answered my prayer. I know that I’m saved by GRACE! Im washed in the blood of Christ.
The scripture he preached on was this
Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. Galatians 2:16
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,
Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:4-9
He drew 5 points out of this I would like to share.
You are Spiritual Alive.You are Heavenly seated You are connected with God. You are one with ChristYou are a reflection of Christ!You are His honored Child!
Ironically the message I was working on, is one on love. Without the love of God there would be no Grace! Before I ever went to that service, God was answering my prayer.
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