Christmas day

It was on a night long ago in the small town of Bethlehem that God became a man! A humble birth not among kings and nobles but among Shepard's and flocks, Emanuel God with us! The Word became flesh and dwelt among us! A star shined down on the Light of the world asleep upon the hay. This baby that was delivered would soon deliver us! Angels rejoiced singing hallelujah peace on earth good will toward men as Gods plan begin to unfold.   God's greatest gift His Son given to us whom believe and trust in Him!

Silent night

It was a silent night.
A newborn baby's cry
Redemptions birth
Peace on earth good will toward men
The King of kings the Lord of lords a humble birth not in a bed but in a bed of straw no crib to lay his head but in a manger he laies. No king no nobleman to welcome His birth. Cattle sheep and shepherds at His feet. Gods Precious gift wrapped in swaddling clothes underneath a glowing star. His gift of love for one and all. God's mighty plan salvation held in the hands of man. This little baby that a virgin bore would one day bear the sins of the world. The creator of all things came unto His own. And innocent baby God of the universe in the care of His creation. Angels stood in awe proclaiming the glory of God as His mighty plan began to unfold. Silent night holy night born this night the Prince of Peace. God and sinner reconciled. This sacred night in a humble place would be nothing with out the humble death upon a cross. A death that would cleanse all men for those that trust in Him. The hope that came with Him conquering the grave. Eternal life is what He brings. The joy that came with His birth the promise that came with His death the joy that comes with His reserection. All started on that night when God was a born unto man. Silent night holy night. God is with us.

Orlando Houston 12/21/2014

Live out your Faith

You want to set there and complain about your own life and what you don't have when there is others out there with less than you have and are quite content!  We live in a fallen world bad things evil things are going to happen! I have said it before We are engaged in a war that is not just flesh and blood but one of spiritual implications! You can't complain about what you don't have when there are those who are having their lives taken from them, rather they know the Lord or not!  You still have an opportunity to seek forgiveness while you are still breathing! You still have the opportunity to serve others and make their lives better! When you look beyond your self and seek to better others you in return will be blessed and taken care of!  People are hurting in this world not only do they need to hear of the Love of Christ but they need to see it through your actions! When you complain about your life you are not showing the love of Christ you are showing that you do not trust in His provision or His guidance, if people see you acting in this matter how will they trust in Him for there salvation? If God saved you, He will provide for you all your needs, but not necessarily your wants.  Trust in Him fully, for it is written God will provide for all your needs through Christ Jesus!  When you are fully trusting in God you will be content with what ever you have in your life!  Too many self proclaimed Christians are anything but content they are not trusting in God and His will for their lives! They speak of hatred and resentment Instead of showing love and forgiveness.   They only reach out and help to gain self praise or when they can get something out of it! This ought to be not so!  The way most people view Christians is that it is nothing but a hypocrisy filled with self righteousness and anything but the love of Christ.  Our actions speak volumes our words Can build up or tear down!   To many live their lives in a way that does not honor God and they have not been rebuked for their behavior! By us ignoring destructive behavior we are only harming the body of Christ!  In the times in which we live we are seeing a escalation of the persecution of Christians. My question is this when you are faced with dieing for your faith in Christ, how will you be able to die for it when you have not lived your life for it? My beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, it is time to repent turn from our evil ways and trust in God in every aspect of our lives. It is time for us to live out our life's in a manner that glorifies God!   

Trial by fire

"Fear not I am with you!" Is written on the painting in my office. During the darkest times in life God has not left you. It takes fire to make elegant glass, it takes fire to make beautiful pottery, it takes fire to make precious metals shine. Life may seem like it is spinning out of control everything may be falling apart. Don't fear or worry about what is going to happen for God has not let go of you, He has never left you nor forsaken you!  It is during these times your faith is being refined, God wants you to trust in Him!  God is known for making beauty from the ashes. The ways and means God uses to gain our trust in Him often times does not make since, but the Bible tells us not to lean on our own understanding but trust in God in all that we do and He will make our paths straight! And also Gods ways are not man's ways. I knew changes were coming but I didn't expect this. I have a decision to make one I am really torn on.  I won't make this choice on my own I'm praying God will guide me to the choice that will honor Him! Maybe He is all ready leading me in the direction I need to go. I know it is hard to see the whole picture when you are standing right on top of it you have to take a step back and look at the whole thing. Once you get above the waves and look down on them they don't seem so big!  I often pray that God's will be done and not my own. Yet I want my will to be inline with that of God's!  This is a big decision and possible a step down is a step up. To be a leader you must be a servant to all.

Gods Love

I don't know the direction that my life is going, but I do know changes are in the air. The sermon I delivered on Sunday is still working in my own life Romans 5:5 but hope is not put to shame for God has poured out His love in our heart through the Holy Spirit whom He gave to us!  

When you realise how much God truely loves you it is life changing it is what drives you compels you to serve Him!   The love of God!  It can blow you away when you begin to mediate on it.  This Love is driving me in a new direction to extend the ministry that God has called me to!   Where this will lead or what it will be as if yet has not been revealed.  Pastoral position is just a small part of this desire, there is a greater ministry awaiting!  The love of God The Love Of God!   The world needs to know of this great love!    I must show the Love of God in all that I do!   I must tell and live out this love in this darken and lost World!   A new desire is burning to reach the unreachable in a way only God can provide a way for!  I am His Hands and Feet! I am that city on the hill I am the salt of the world!  I am a disciple of Christ and I will live my life for His Glory!  

Time for Revival

It is time to dedicate our life's to prayer and fasting it is time for us as followers of Christ to put on the full armor of God and fight this battle going on in our homes, schools, community, state, and nation! We have never been in such need of a revival then we are at this time in which we live. It is time for the men and women of God to stand up and proclaim the freedom that comes from knowing Him! We have been asleep for far too long!  It is time to awaken from our slumber and be the Army that He has called us to be! We must start with true self repentance asking God to reveal to us the things that dishonor Him and seeking His will!  We are on verge of an epic spiritual battle and if you are not prepared you will not  stand!  It's time for us to unite as the family as Christ as one body united in Him! Putting aside our differences and speak and act as one body!

Blessings

Life is a blessing no matter what you may be going through.  Every day is a gift from God another opportunity to turn your life over to Him another opportunity to serve Him another opportunity to tell someone of the Love He has for them.   Life is full of blessings if you start looking at what you have instead of what you lack, you realise you are content lacking nothing for all is provided to by our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.   I just want you to know that God loves you and desires above all things to have a personal relationship with you!   Stop trying to hold on to this life and just be held by our Loving Heavenly Father.  I personally have seen and lived in the darkness of this world battling demons till I saw the light and accepted the free gift of salvation that comes from surrendering my life to Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.   He takes the broken and ruined and makes it new. I can proclaim this with no doubt for He restored my life my marriage and relationships with my daughters.  Seek Him with all your heart, trust in Him and all that He does,

Called to preach

Tomorrow as times in the past I will be standing before a congregation, who are seeking a pastor to lead and guide them. I have not as yet found the church that God has choosen for me to lead.   However that has not stopped me from seeking and knocking, all the times in the past that it was not within Gods will for me to be placed there, I took it as a learning experience.  I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I am trusting in God and am willing to accept His will what ever that may be.  I will stand before His people His church and speak on the message that He has laid upon heart.  If God puts it upon their heart that they may want to pursue this further praise be to God! If they decide I am not the one that God has choosen Praise be to God!   When you are in ministry or just a servant in Christ we must learn to accept His will and not our own.  For when He does not allow something to happen in your life, there is a reason it didn't happen, if He allows it to happen there is also a reason, that is why we are to praise Him no matter the outcome.   I have been called to preach, I will be obedient to that calling, there is a reason I have been asked to preach at Calvery Baptist tomorrow rather I am the one who has been choosen to lead them or not.   I will trust in God and will be content with what ever the outcome for His Grace is Sufficient for me! 

Relationship not Religion

Religion is a burden no one should bare! It is full of rules and regulations imposed on those by those that can't keep them themselves.  Being a follower of Christ is anything but religion it is about a relationship built upon the foundation of love!  God the Creator of all things has a love so deep for His prize creation that when it turned its back on Him rejecting His love and the relationship that He so desired to have with them.  That He choose to take on the image of man to show that love He had for them. He dwelt among His creation that He desired above anything to draw them back to Himself that He was willing to lay down His life to die in our place so that we might have life!  What great love is this that God would chose to die for those that rejected Him those who turned their back on Him!  Gods greatest desire is to have a personal relationship with His beloved creation!  So many people try to fill their lives with junk, sex, drugs, alcohol, earthly relationships, success and the list goes on only to find they have only emptiness and despair!  Our internal desire rather we admit it or not is to know God, to worship Him, to have that relationship with Him!  Stop trying to earn acceptance by God you will not succeed stop practicing religion!  It will not gain you anything but frustration and misery! Christ has come so that we may have life and have it more abundantly! Our good deeds are as filthy rags outside of Christ!  Seek the love of God, He is calling out to you His desire is to draw close as a parent draws their child near to comfort them. His desire to grant you forgiveness shower you with mercy and grace!  Show you the love that you so long for, He will fill the emptiness that is with in you! He will restore you He will create in you a new Spirit one that desires a loving relationship with Him! If you are tired of going through the motions trying to keep up with rules and regulations that you beat yourself up over not bring able to keep, there is freedom that is found in Christ when you submit your life to Him!  Come to Christ let go of the life you have been trying to live! You will find love and acceptance that you can not find anywhere else!  No other God chose to show his love for those that rejected him by dieing for them except our God our Lord our Savior Jesus Christ!    Come to Him lay down the burdens that you carry! Receive peace and fulfillment that can only come from having a relationship with Jesus Christ!  Turn from your religion and seek a loving relationship with God! 

The Enemy

Muslims and Islam are the enemy make no mistake about it! They are not religions of peace! They are decedents of Ham , Ismael and Esau whom have had a hatred for God and Israel for almost 5000 years and Christians for around 2000 years.  If you are not for God than you are against God!  There is a good reason for God telling the Israelites to destroy these people groups when they took possession of the Promise Land! God told them if they did not eliminate them from the face of the earth that they would become a hindrance, a thorn in the flesh a stumbling block to them. This is exactly what has happened they terrorize all those who do not agree or stand with them in their darkness and beliefs!  They are not peaceful, you can count on this! In Christ alone we have peace and show peace! With out Christ in you, you have no peace! In God there is no darkness, if you are in Christ than you are in the light for Christ is light and in Him there is no darkness! If you do not stand for God than you are a enemy of God!  If you are an enemy of God than you are the enemy of those who serve Him.  If you do not honor God than you are a follower of Satan a child of the Devil!   If you call yourself a follower of Christ you know this! Stop deceiving people! We as believers are not to have fellowship with those who live in darkness!  We as a country should not allow these so called refragees these Islam and Muslim groups to come into our land with nothing in mind but to terrorize and attempt to force their beliefs on us and if we do not agree they seek to kill us!  It's time to wake up and call it what is! These are not peaceful people they are our enemies!  This is just not a war of flesh and blood but one of spiritual matters! We are called to protect our family and our self's from such attacks!  We should not open our doors to these radical ideas that go against everything our faith stands for!  These people for the most part have no desire to turn to God and seek forgiveness  they want to destroy everything He stands for!  We have seen this time and time again!  It is time to wake up and protect your family and love ones, we can not let these attacks to continue or be invited with open arms here in the false pretense of seeking shelter. 

I do not hate people who are Muslim or Islamic but I do despise their religions and what they stand for.  Their beliefs are full of poison and deceit which are pure evil!  We can not allow these practices to be brought into our neighborhoods, schools and homes! 

Redemption draws near

Where have the good times gone? Is something every generation has said.   Our world is falling more and more from God every passing moment. This is definitely not the world that we grew up in.  Children are not safe in their own neighborhood, schools or often times their own home.  People are killed just because others don't agree with them or just because they stand for something that others find offensive.  Our Nation has turned its back on God in such a way it should strike fear in you if you don't have faith in Him.  Its like we are in the middle of a bad dream saying to ourselves how can this be?  We see our way of life being stripped away, freedoms we thought we would always have seem to be cast aside for the interest of those who seek to destroy the values and principles that this nation was founded upon!  Family life has become a joke, more and more split family's,  love has definitely waxed cold! Commitment is something that is rarely herd of today.  Its not what can I do for you but sadly its what can you do for me!  Not to mention all the morally wrongs that are called rights and now are called acceptable!  Right will be considered wrong and wrongs will be considered right!  Christian persecution is on the rise and don't think for a minute that is not here for it is very much alive right here at home!  Time will tell who truly follow Christ for when they fear for their life they will flee!  I don't fear what is is coming for my faith and trust are in God!   The Bible tells us these things will happen but we are to look to heaven praising God for our redemption draws near! It would be easy to fear and doubt with all negatively that is so impressing upon us.  However it is written that I should not fear the one that can destroy the body but fear Him who can destroy the body and soul with everlasting fire and torment!  What can man do to me?   It is not ever going to get better while we are in this fleshy form.  When the deposition of time is full Christ will return and God will pour out His judgment upon this sinful world!  Till then I will serve God or till He calls me home. 

Attacks

The hate in this world little alone this nation is great! We that show love and concern for nation are under a great attack for we do not agree with their liberal, socialist, demonic views, little alone the out right wickedness that is so over whelming by all these groups that are attempting to make a name for themselves.  This may be a time of great parallel with horrific attacks against opposing views that don't agree with their demonic agenda. Great hatred for those that are different then themselves the killing of innocent lives. No one is owed anything but yet they think they are owed everything. Evil is far reaching and if you don't agree with it  you are ether punished or possible killed. You speak the truth and they attempt to silence you and they won't stop till they have  achieved their goal. There are many groups out there all under different names but if they are not under Christ they are under Satan and therefore they are demonic! We that know God and His Word are not surprised by the events that are taking place. For they must happen to bring about the fulfillment of prophecy. We can not fear the events that are unfolding before our eyes for our trust should be in the Lord! The Word of God tells us not to be surprised that these events are happening, but look to God for our redemption draws near. Many will fall away in this great tribulation those that hold true to God are not immune from these trials but our faith is to be strengthened it is being refined! Threats are coming from all directions but be not swayed be not afraid we must stand in courage for we know that the Lord goes before us.

Lessons Learned

The hardest thing as a parent is to allow your child to learn from their decisions, that means that once they make a choice you don't run and bale them out every time they get in trouble. They must learn to put forth an effort and not think that they don't have to do anything and get what ever they desire with out trying while they live how ever they want. It is easy  to run to their aid when they place themselves in a uncomfortable position, but what would they learn from that? We all have learned from poor decisions that we have made in life, we have gained wisdom from those experiences in what to do or not to do in certain situations. If we love our children enough we will allow them to experience these hard times and learn from them, so they will learn what to do when we are no longer around to aid them. We must allow our children to learn to be self reliant so that they won't depend on others or the tax payer for their survival, they must learn to put forth an effort and trust in God, once they do this others will be willing to aid them how ever they can.  In the story of the prodigal son the father allowed his son to go his way and live the life that he choose, however he did not run to his son's aid when he hit rock bottom. He waited for his son to learn from that experience and to return home. When he saw his son coming home then he ran out to him embracing him, restoring him to his position with in the family. This is what is wrong in this nation today every one thinks that they are owed something and that they don't have to do anything to obtain it. They belief they are in titled to what ever  they desire with out putting forth the effort to get it. They have been rescued every time they fell and where never allowed to learn from the mistakes that they had made or learned how to get out off the trouble they are in.  You can share with them what they need to do to correct the problem but they refuse to listen blinded by their own ignorance and rejection of the truth.  Until they come to their senses, or their right mind returned to them they will walk in this darkness unaware of our true intentions and the love that we are trying to show. 

A new Grandpa

Still trying to let it all soak in daddy's little girl is going to be a mommy. A young lady she has become I have had a hard time letting go. We didn't always see eye to eye but we are still  very close as it should always be. I have concern for her future for this changes everything, life goes from being hard to something much harder. I don't doubt her abilities but yet I know she has questions. It doesn't seem that long ago as I stood by her mother welcoming her into this world. However it has been over 19 years oh how they went by to quick! The time seemed why to short from her being a baby to a child to a teenager who thought they knew it all to being the woman she is today. She  has questions I know for I have questions of my own. Not only has her life changed mine has changed as well. This new life she now carries this blessed gift from God will change the world in which we live in their own unique way. I look forward to holding this new life a descendant of my own blood. I knew I never deserved the three daughters God blessed me with but now He is blessing me with a grandchild that He has chosen for me. I am blessed to see my children grow for I will be truly blessed to see their children grow. I have not always been a God fearing man but now that I am I have the honor and privilege of passing down the wisdom that God has given to me the knowledge that comes from knowing Him. In a very short time I will be holding this new blessing in my arms thanking God for all that He has done and allowed me to see. 

Little Girl

She was just a baby that grew into a woman. A little girl who stole my heart away. I watched her grow, and it went to fast if I only knew how short the time would be I would of been more of a daddy than a father who was away. If I could of done more if I would of spent more time playing instead of angry words. She left home before she finished school. Could not take the stress of home anymore. I see myself in her and the decisions she making in the way I once lived when I thought I knew it all.  If I could go back, live a different life a life of love, patience, and understanding instead of quick tempered and hateful words. She is my baby girl whom I miss having at home.  But she grew up spread her wings flying away. "Little boy blue and the man in the moon" is a song that is so close to home. I swore I would not be the man that my father was to me, but I treated my daughters the same way he treated me, driving one of them away. I am much older now, I know the error of my ways, I know I can't turn back time. I can however show my love for her helping her in away I can. I might not agree with the choices she makes, but that is where she will learn wisdom is from the mistakes she will make.  No matter what she does she is still my daughter a child that God in trusted to me for a very short time.  As she begins her adult life may she ever be reminded that I love her that God is with her that she may of learned what to do and not to do when she has a family of her own. We have our children for a very short time you will tuck them in bed one night and the next day it seems they are moving away. If we had a little more time to figure it all out, just maybe we could be the parents that we should of been. But we don't so while they are little play a little longer spend less time working and complaining speak words of love and not so much screaming. They are only with us for a very short time. 

Letter to State

The following is a short speech I presented today in front of Advocates for those who have some type of  mental or physical disability and those who provide care for them. It was a forum that was held in front of the Advisory Panel for Policy making.

To all it may concern:  

In regards to the 3.5% cut in funding to DDS services.

This is an outrage! There could have been other cuts that could have been made, starting with salaries of our elected and appointed officials and representatives.  This move is going to be catastrophic to those who receive services and to those who provide those services, most of the employees that work for various agencies receive some type of state assistance for they do not make enough to provide for their families as it is, and those who don't receive any state assistance barely make enough to survive.  We do not receive a livable wage as it is.  There are many who do this job out of love and compassion for those who need some type of assistance, Do Not take advantage of this Desire to make someone's life better!! To those who receive services this move will take away a quality of life that they and their Families have fought so hard to obtain.   This move by our representatives will set us back decades in services.  This 3.5% cut is going to have far greater effects than you will not be able to comprehend or refuse to see! We have been fighting for an increase for years and you all know the need! But through your greed and selfishness you refuse to place the money where it truly needs to go! I have been in or around this field for over 14 years! My wife has been providing services to the same individual for all of those 14 years!  Many of the people in this field have spent a good part of their life doing the same thing caring for the same person for the length of their career. These people we care for are not just a job they are family!  We want to see them get the best quality care they can get with all the services they need so that they can live the most productive full life they can.  With you taking away these funds you are robbing them of that life. A big portion of those we care for have lived in an institution of some sort. They fully remember the lives they had then and many fear with the cuts that they will be going back to that life.  These People have their own homes many volunteer or have some type of employment to contribute to the community in which they live!  With these cuts many will be no longer to contribute to their communities as they have been. 
Our employees need to be treated better, they need a raise and not a pay cut which is a good possibility with this cut.  Agencies are going to have to find ways to survive and stay afloat with this shortfall.
You that have the power to change this should reconsider this cut and how it is going to affect 1000s of Oklahoma lives!  Cut your own salaries/ or other things that do not matter, instead of robbing from those who so desperately depend upon these services.   Employees and those who receive services are depending on you to make the right choices.  "True character is doing something for someone who can do nothing in return!"

Sincerely Orlando Houston  
Support Coordinator @ Central State Community Services of Oklahoma

Marriage

I asked a question  a little over 5 years ago do you remember your wedding vows?  Everyone that answered said yes. One friend even said that he and his wife reviewed them recently and made a check list to see if they were honoring them. Not a bad Idea. Maybe we all should do that.

Any way do you remember your wedding vows?  Here are some common vows recited at wedding. It was the one my wife and I said at ours. Even though I swore the phrase to obey was in there it wasn’t. Lets look at it.

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.


For richer or poorer, for sickness and health, for better or worse till death do us part.   
 
How many of us actual do this? Our vows are more than a promise to one another it’s a promise to God!

Marriage what makes it work?  What makes it survive?  Have you ever watched an older couple act like teenagers in love? With them setting by each other in a restaurant, smiling, holding hands, looking like they are truly still in love. Or watched them walking in a park or into a store side by side holding hands?  Or that he still opens doors for his wife?  Have you ever thought how did they stay in love for so long?
I posted a question on my wall that said,  “What do you think it takes for a marriage to work and survive?”  Here are some of the results.

First and foremost most people stated that it must be God centered. God must be part of your marriage for it to work.  And actual if you want to be honest everything else mentioned would fall under that. For with out God in your marriage all these other things would be impossible to maintain with inner joy the desire to stay married and enjoy each others company.
Forgiveness, Honesty, Passion, Contentment, Happiness, Friendship, Doing everything together (as one), Trust, Respect, Communication, Treat them as you want to be treated, Laughter, Acceptance, Compromise, Being Selfless, Remembering your vows,  One of my favorites  Never go to bed mad or angry at each other. This is so true and Biblical. This advice was given to Lisa and I when we got married, and it to was posted as a comment. Lastly and probably just as important as God centered is Divorce is not an option.
 
That was something Lisa took to heart, I was lost and was showing hardly any of these things if any. If there was a person to divorce from it would have been me. Now most of you have probably heard sermons or read books on marriage, I to could go that route. But how I’m going to share it I’m praying others who are hurting and maybe who have gone through what Lisa and I did can relate and might be helped.. I apologize at the start for my unorthodox approach.

20 years ago last Memorial Day weekend I met the love, the woman, the wife God made for me. It hasn’t always been easy. There were those that said we would never make it, and at times I thought the same.  However our marriage survived it is sold as a rock today!  It’s by the grace of God it is.  Let’s go a little deeper and say it’s because of all the turmoil, fights, and arguments we had it is.  You may be saying at this point, how can this be?  Let me explain, just like all couples we have had our ups and downs.  Because of these ups and downs, especially the downs our marriage is strong. We as a couple learned how to overcome and survive these pitiable times.  We learned to forgive each other no matter what. Not to hold grudges!  Lisa has forgiven me of some horrific things.  Learning how to deal with these crucial areas not holding resentment is why our marriage survived.  And this was made possible only through God!   I like to compare marriage to our faith.
 
 1 Peter 1:6-7 says  In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,  so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
 
Just like trials and tribulation strengthens your faith it also strengthens your marriage. Have a friend that asked “Why is that every time I get ahead, I get knocked backwards and have to start over?”  I simply told him so you can go back forward and become stronger.  You can only fall so far and at that point you have two options. 1. You can say it’s over give up and go your separate ways. 2. Cry out to God, turn your marriage over to Him asking Him to lead and Guide you out.  There is a song by Greater Vision called “I’ve been to the bottom” and this is the course


“Well I’ve Been To The Bottom
And I’ve found at the bottom there’s a blessed Holy rock
A place for us to stand away from sinking sand
Safe in the hand of God
A foundation that is sure and ever will endure
To comfort the hurting heart
Well I’ve Been To The Bottom
And I’ve found at the bottom there’s a blessed Holy rock”

Satan will do what ever he can do to drive you apart.  Don’t let him win!  Remember “He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world.” 1John 4:4

With this said I want to reshare a NOTE  I wrote over 6 years ago.  There are things that have happened in our marriage that have destroyed other marriages.  Only by the grace of God and forgiveness of one another did our marriage and new found love for one another prevail.


It was late May in 1995 and I was trying to get off drugs and alcohol, I was attending AA and NA meetings my life was in shambles and I was trying to get it back. I had just got home from work when some girls showed up at my house. One of them came to see a friend of mine that was living with me at the time, and she brought Lisa with her. Lisa was hesitant about coming cause they didn’t know if I spoke English. Well when they got there they were about 3 sheets to the wind. I remember watching Lisa slid down my door when she came in. I told her she could set on the couch, she said she was fine but soon came over and set down. We did the normal small talk and I asked her were she was from. She told me Strang. I said cool I was originally from there; my grandfather lives at the bottom of the hill on the corner. This about scared her off. She said she had to go I said why she replied I can’t date anyone from Strang and your related to that crazy old man. However she did stay after some more talking.
After a very short time of dating we decided to get married, and I decided to tell my sponsor in NA. He told me it was too early in my recovery and I should wait. I was not going to wait, I got mad and stopped going. I decided I didn’t need any help. I was gravely mistaken. I was ticking time bomb full of resentment, hatred, and wrath ready to explode.
We moved in together before we got married along with another couple. Not a great idea. Not to mention it is against Gods will. We had a few arguments prior to the wedding, and the night before the wedding I was a drunken depressant annoying jerk. I was whining that she was going to leave me before the wedding; she told me if I didn’t shut up she was going to leave me. The next day Oct 31, 1995 we were married in a chapel in Miami, Ok. Hung over and all, I was not going to let them draw my blood, and they said if they didn’t draw my blood I couldn’t get married. So I reluctantly let them stick me. I remember the minister saying that our marriage was valid for 100 years we had to stay together for that long, and then we could do what ever. I guess Lisa took this to heart.
After we were married it didn’t take long before my controlling attitude showed up. I was waiting to go work and I hadn’t seen my wife all day. When she arrived home I was screaming at her demanding to know were she had been. She said you want to know where I been and threw a pregnancy test at me. I went to say, what is this? When I looked at it I knew. A moment we could have shared in love I ruined with my anger. This was just the start of my controlling, my anger problems and my drinking and occasional drug use. Neither one of us was living the way we should. We both clamed to be Christian, however our lives didn’t show it.
Soon before Taylor was to be born we got a trailer east of Adair. I remember Lisa being about 8 months pregnant cleaning the walls. They were filthy!!!! I was acutely happy I was working got a job at Hem-Saw, and I was about to be a daddy!
After Taylor was born, and Lisa recovered from a c-section I decided I need to get my life in line. First I decided to go back to NA and AA. We went to a few meetings, but I just couldn’t get into it. I was getting mad and hatful blaming Lisa cause she didn’t want to participate. She kept telling me I was the one with problem not her. I kept telling her if she wasn’t drinking when I meet her I wouldn’t have started again. Excuses I never could own up to my own problems. One day we had a big fight and she said she was leaving I told her fine and that if she wanted to go then go. Well I went to work that day and later that night I called her and asked if she was leaving? She said no. I said I was sorry and went to make things better,
Well since NA and AA wasn’t going to work for me. I decided to go to Church, We had been invited to attend Harmony Star Baptist Church by a friend I worked with. Well it sound good at first, however time would show the true feeling of my heart. We arrived went to Sunday School, set through the service and when the alter call was made I went forward, just as I had more times than I can count growing up. You see I was raised Pentecostal, and thought I could lose my salvation. However I don’t think I ever had it not then and not at this point. My heart was never in it. I was a false convert. And the very next Sunday my anger would show again. We were driving to church and we got lost, I was yelling at Lisa because she couldn’t remember how to get there. Needless to say we didn’t make it that week. However we did go back after that a few times, but we didn’t stay.
We got into some financial problems, and we moved in with her mom and dad. I’m sure I showed my attitude more than once, but cant remember directly.. After a few months living there we moved to Pryor, back to my town thought things would be better. I had quit my job with the promise of another one that didn’t work out. So a friend and I started up a business. It went really well at first, but because of disagreements and poor management it didn’t last. During this time my drinking greatly increased. We had been married almost two years; I would set on the computer all day while Taylor ran around the house. At night I would drink a pint of tequila. One night I came home looking for my bottle of tequila and it wasn’t there. I had just bought it and it was gone! I screamed and demanded to know were it was! Lisa told me she poured it out, and that it was the bottle or her. She informed me she was on a waiting list for Twin Villa, and that if I didn’t straighten up and get a job she was going to leave me. This is the first time my wife supported us, while I did nothing.
Things did get better for awhile, I did a few jobs through a temp service, and finally got hired on at AP Green, I would work here almost 3 years. I was now making good money and we moved into a different house. But soon I was drinking again. I remember one Easter Sunday when Taylor was almost three she was outside playing with a little girl about her age. When I said something can’t remember what, but what the little girl said sent shivers down my spine. She said “Its ok I understand my mommy drinks too” this came from a three or four year old!!! I went back in told Lisa what was said, and I don’t think I drank the rest of the day..
After a few months in the house I got the news I was going to be a daddy again. Lisa was pregnant with our second daughter Brittany. I remember I was at work when I got the call that Lisa needed to go to the doctor that she was having contractions. Taylor being three now helped her mommy pack her bag for the hospital. By the time we got to the hospital Brittany was ready to be born. Taylor was two weeks late, Brittany was two weeks early, and she has been in a hurry all her life so far.
After the birth of Brittany we bought a house out behind the Ford dealership in Pryor. This is where our marriage really starts to go down hill. I was working swing shifts always grumpy and hateful. I was bringing the stress from work home with me. I was always tired and cranky nothing made me happy. Lisa was working to which didn’t help matters much. And to top it all of I was drinking again and started doing crystal meth. again. I can recall several big fights in this house during this time period, usually pushing Lisa beyond the breaking point one incident I made her so mad she threw a pair of scissors at me and they stuck in the wall by my head. I had said some very insulting hurtful words toward her. We lived here for almost 3 years after several layoffs I quit this job, which laid the way for where I’m at now. We load up the truck and moved back into town, next door to my mom and dad. This next few years would not be so good, the fighting increased along with a lot of other things that would drive a marriage apart.
At this point I got a job at Air X Changers in Catoosa, this would not last long. I worked there for 5 months and got laid off. I decided heck with it I’m tired of being laid off sick of factory work so Ill just wait. Remember last time I wasn’t working. This time was worse. Lisa was working at this time to cover the difference in my unemployment, she wasn’t happy with what she was doing, so she sought other employment. A friend of mine told her about NCDC and she should apply. Well she did and got hired on. This is the same field she is in to this day. During this time she was working a lot of overtime and I was looking for a job. And when I wasn’t looking for a job I was on line in chat rooms. I befriended a lot of young ladies, and started talking with one in a manner not becoming of a married man. I went as far as to talking about meeting one when my wife went away to camp. Lisa found this on the day I went to a job interview. The girl messaged my wife thinking it was me. Lisa informed her that she wasn’t me and not to be talking to her husband. Lisa than checked my message history and it told all.. When I got home I was very angry I had missed by job interview it was the day before and they rescheduled it. I knew I didn’t have a shot now. This was at Sunoco refineries in Tulsa. I was blaming my wife again, Lisa got upset started crying and told me she wasn’t going to mention this, she was going to let it go, but now she was! She wanted to know what she did to deserve this kind of treatment. If I wanted them I could have them. I started apologizing and making excuses. I said I was stressed I was upset depressed and can’t remember all. In short she made me go to the doctor took there test and found out I suffered from depression and he put me on Zoloft. This made everything better for quite some time shortly after this I to went to work for NCDC. My unemployment had run out. I really liked this new job and like my wife I was advancing quickly up the ladder.
I begin not to like the way the Zoloft made me feel so I stopped taking it all together instead of having the doctor take me off slowly. Not a good Idea!! My temper came back with vengeance.
Our girls are now about the ages 5 and 2 and they have seen my roller coaster temper, never knowing were it would be. One Easter we had friends and family over Lisa and I had cooked diner that year. We were arguing in the kitchen and I shoved her I might of even slapped her I cant remember, but her reaction was to hit me in the head with a drinking glass, telling me that I could go eat with everybody and she wasn’t going to. After minutes of pleading for my life, we went in and told everybody dinner was ready. This was just one of our many fights in this house. Several times it would get so bad she would try to leave and got to her moms and I would stop her by standing in front of the door, trying to disable her car, you name it I probably tried it to stop her from going. She would shove and hit me and I would just laugh which made her even madder. I had no feeling for her emotions; however I was not letting her go.
We both continued to work at NCDC both working a lot of over time. I was pretty much living in the house I was working in. About this time Lisa tells me she pregnant! I was really excited I really wanted a son this time. I went around telling every one the good news. However I still could not control my temper. One night after being at work for over two weeks I got to go home and Lisa gets called in. I was very insistent about her not going I had not seen her and I wanted time with her, or was I just being controlling. We were standing outside by her car we both were yelling and arguing, I went to let the air out of her tire and she hit me with the water bottle she had in her hand, and then I shoved her. She ran back inside crying. I had won this argument or did I and at what cost?
Some time before this fight or after I had started going to church again not with my family but with the guy I took care of. I was also watching a lot of TBN. Which really was not good, some of it is false doctrine and very dangerous if you don’t know better. I was trying hard to get my life back on track. I knew the Lord was talking to me, I knew it wasn’t too late. I was ready to totally rely on God. All I was doing at work was watching or listening to religious programs, I also started studying my bible again. Took a lot of notes…
Lisa had made a doctors appointment for the 3 month ultra sound. She had not been to the doctor yet. I was at work when she called me all upset and crying. I asked her calm down and tell me what was wrong. She told me they can’t find the heart beat. I was devastated, I called my boss told him what was wrong and I was leaving that he needed to find some one to cover my shift and I left. Before I left I prayed God if you are there please let them find a heart beat when I get there. I will do what ever you want just let this baby be alive. When I got there I went with Lisa back to the ultra sound holding her hand as we walked. They hooked the ultra sound and the doctor looked again. No Heart Beat. I was never so hurt in my life I felt betrayed and I cursed God. I swore to have nothing to do with Him again. How could He do this to us, what did we do to deserve this? My sister n law’s pastor lived there in Claremore where we were at. They came and prayed over Lisa as they did I set in the corner glaring at them thinking, how dare they do that when I should have been over there holding her hand. They had given my wife some shot that would make her body pass the baby, when she did the baby was a boy. I was now even more crushed.
My wife got released from the hospital; they did not perform a dnc. We got home and my wife continued to bleed, we went back to the doctor twice and they said it was ok that she would stop. We went back home and she got worse I then rushed her to the Pryor ER. and they did a blood test. Her blood level was at half they rushed her back and gave her a blood transfusion of 4 pints. Do the math. My wife almost bleeds to death. But by the mercy of God she Lived..
Now we were in the process of buying a house in Inola, when this all occurred we decided we didn’t want to raise a baby in the house we were in. Not to mention we would never get it baby proofed. We already been approved and we were waiting to close when we had the miscarriage. We went on and bought the house and moved to Inola. In Spring 2005 Lisa and mines marriage was on very shaky ground once again.  We couldn’t stand to be together for long periods of time.  When I was home I drank a lot., I was burned out in the job I was in due to excessive hours worked and I began to look for other employment. When Lisa was told I should get my cdl. I thought about it and looked at all the potential money I could make.  So in late May 2005 I went off to school for 3 weeks to get my cdl.  After completing school I was hired on at Choctaw Express, a trucking company that allowed me to be home on weekends.  I spent 3 weeks with a trainer, which was supposed to be 4.  But my trainer told them I was ready to go early.  Lisa and mines marriage begin to improve over time, but we still had a long ways to go.  After 2 days we both were ready for me to leave.  During my home time I drank as usual.  This went on and on same thing every week.  On one occasion we had been fighting all day and it continued up to the time she dropped me off at the truck.  We departed ways on some hateful words.  Well I got in the truck and left, but I wasn’t done the more I thought about whatever we were fighting about the angrier I got.  So I called her and yelled at her again. I hung up after saying some hateful words.  I no more hung up when a truck in front of me slammed into the back of another trucks trailer cutting his truck and him both in half. I just witnessed a man killed right in front of me.  I thought that could have been me.  Everything I just said ran through my mind and I was sorry for what I said.  What if it was me and those were the final words Lisa ever heard me say?  I called her back and apologized and told her what I saw.  After this the fighting diminished greatly but it wasn’t over completely.  .  A few months later we found out Lisa was pregnant again. And she conceived on Easter, kind of funny if you look back on everything that has happened on this date

. .Well once again I was happy wanting a son more than ever now. When we went to the ultra sound and found out it was a girl, my other two daughters started teasing me. When I should have played along I got mad, because I wasn’t having a son. And we had to go back because the nurse forgot to write down the heart beat.
Her name was to be Alyssa Rayne, and I was about to get one of the greatest blessing I ever got. Just didn’t know it yet. She was born a healthy baby girl and great relief to us. She made me feel that happiness I so longed for and had forgotten. The Lord had started His work on me I just didn’t know it yet.  After Alyssa was born we thought we needed more money, so I decided to find a company that paid more money and to stay out longer.  I didn’t know what God had in store for me. Even though I went to two different companies, things came up that prevented me from getting hired, so I went back to Choctaw. They welcomed me back with no problem.. My marriage still wasn’t the greatest; the feeling of love had all but gone. But my wife was persistent, as I continued to drink, she started to PRAY, I just didn’t know it yet. Shortly after Alyssa’s 2nd birthday it happened. It was a Friday night March  19, 2009 to be exact. I was home for the weekend and during that time off I did not drink, smoke or take a dip. These are things I did every week or not day for 20 years. I had no withdraws and didn’t realize it till Monday still not taking any nicotine in, still no withdraws. I was driving up in Michigan that following Monday night it was now March 22, 2009 when I realized what had happened that weekend. I knew God healed me then I heard a voice loud and clear. He said “What are you doing? Why don’t you have your family in church? Don’t you know it’s your responsibility?” I knew it was God speaking to me I cried realizing the life I was living and all the years I wasted. I knew I had to change and I gave my life to Christ driving down the interstate. I couldn’t wait to call let people know. First I called my wife and told her I just gave my life to Christ, she was a little hesitant to believe at first for good reason, I then called Lisa’s sister and told her and asked the number to Tyson Wynn her pastor at her church. This is the church I hated with great passion; I fought ever year with my wife about my kids going to VBS there. This is also the same pastor that came to pray with my wife during her miscarriage. For some reason this is who I was lead to call. My wife, kids and I went to this church, Strang First Baptist the following Sunday. I was welcomed with open arms; I don’t see how I was always the resentful hateful one in the back pew with his arms crossed showing he would rather be anywhere else but there. I could not set through my kids programs at VBS. I never let them stay past the time it was over. My wife told me shortly later that she been praying, not that I would find salvation but that I would find a church to go to. And when I picked Strang FBC she knew God had answered her prayer. However she still had some doubts. On June 7th 2009 I made my public confession of faith and was baptized the same day with my two oldest daughters in Lake Hudson. Come to find out they where also praying for me, that I might find Jesus. They didn’t know that their mother was praying likewise she didn’t know they were praying. Now my wife was not totally sure till July of that year when I was lead to work VBS I took a weeks vacation from work to help out. I never felt so joyful.. I worked at a VBS that a year earlier I hated. I was lead to be the Youth Leader, and in September I was confirmed by the church. In March 2010 I was called to preach.
As I said earlier Alyssa was a blessing, she has me enjoying being a daddy so much I missed with the other two, cause of my drinking and other things. My relationship with my two older daughters has been healed. Being a daddy is one of the greatest blessings God has given me. I look forward to spending time with them always.  God shows great mercy and I thank Him.
As I continue to look at things in my life, and address things I have held in for years, feelings of resentment, anger, and hatred. With these things I held in all my life. I begin to wonder what love was and if I ever felt it. I know that God showed his Love by sending His Son to die for us, paying our debt for our sins. So I prayed and asked God to show me what love was. I know that you love me but why don’t I feel it; I really don’t know how it feels. Please show me what and how love feels. I was asking this for several reasons one was I didn’t know if I loved my wife. The words I love you had become so routine, I wrote love poems and songs and did other romantic things but I begin to question them. I messaged a friend and asked her for ideas for a Christmas present for Lisa. She made a suggestion for a book. She didn’t know of my prayer. She recommended a book, a book Lisa read many years earlier and I blew it off. This time I read it and it explained a lot, now I understood love and how to show it to Lisa and she knows how to express her love to me in return. In this process I realized Gods love for me.  So you see there is hope for all marriages, we been through it all. God intends all marriages to work. I want to thank my wife for her faith in God, and that she believed He would make it work.

Since these Note was originally posted, our marriage and relationship has grown stronger. I love my wife beyond any words I can express. Her support for me in the ministry God has called to me to is without question. Even with the decision to take a major pay cut to spend more time at home, and pursue my calling to the ministry is shown with love and support.  Sacrifices will be made, and we both understand and know that. My wife is the greatest person I know, she is part of me. I look forward to growing spiritual with her as we grow old. And seeing what and where God leads us in this Ministry and life.

I don’t care where your marriage is at, there is hope, there is light, if you put your faith and trust in God. He will restore your life; He will restore your marriage.  Nothing is too hard for God! God can do all things! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!  Remain strong don’t give up hope on your wife or husband. God wants to be part of your lives he wants to see your marriage grow and be restored, He wants you to forgive one another for what and how you hurt each other. I’m not meaning to preach and I won’t! I just want to say   But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. Matt. 19:26  All things even your marriage.

As I asked at the start what do you think it takes for a marriage to work and survive?   You can have all these things If God is the center of your Marriage.
Forgiveness, Honesty, Passion, Contentment, Happiness, Friendship, Unity, Trust, Respect, Communication, Laughter, Acceptance, Compromise, Selfless, Honoring your vows, Never go to bed mad or angry at each other and Divorce is not an option. 
 
With all that has happened in our marriage I can honestly say that Lisa and I have all those things and much more. And you can also.


Since the time I wrote this our marriage has even grown stronger as we have grown closer to God.  It still has not been easy and yes we still have disagreements, but we don't let those disagreements get the best of us we still find a way to come to a compromise and work through it. 


        One great adventure we had since the time I wrote this was that on the year of our 18 wedding anniversary I started out on an adventure 70 days from our Anniversary to name a reason everyday ( How I was blessed by my wife, A reason why I loved her, Why I was thankful for her)  This had a great impact on the way I looked at her, 45 days from our Anniversary we took the Love Dare   and come to find out our marriage still needed some work, With my 70 day challenge and the Love Dare both happening our Marriage grew  significantly as result on November 2nd we celebrated a renewing of our vows in front of God and Family making a promise this time to hold true to our vows and promise to God and one another.   

Just a thought

We see things happening in our country in the world that are quite alarming.  Things here at home can be considered history changing if not very concerning. The economy has not recovered if anything it is still plummeting down with no end in sight. The morals of God or no more, there's just so much happening that we cannot keep track of it all.  What is really going on?  Is all this a distraction to something more sinister something more evil in the works?  Everyone has a opinion on what is about to happen.  Not only Bible scholars and prophets, but also historians and economist.  rather you call it a conspiracy theory, end times whack job, disillusioned people or realist. something big is on the horizon what it is I'm not a hundred percent sure. But everyone seems to have a theory.  I do have my own thoughts watching the events going on.  I do believe that America must fall to bring about End Time Prophecy.  With everything that has happened, and is happening in secret I do believe this end is not far away.  I believe big changes/life altering events will happen this year manly in the last quarter of the year.  The stage is set, the chess pieces are in place. It will soon be time for Faith in Christ to be tested. Do you love your life more than you love Christ?   Our government is not here for us, they are seeking ways they can silence Christians and their faith. But be not afraid all this must happen.  We should not look at these unfolding events in fear!  But with great rejoicing, knowing that the day of our deliverance is at hand! If you have not placed  your faith, hope, and trust in Christ than you will not be able to endure the things that are coming.

Answered Prayers

On July 23 2010 I wrote the following, a lot has changed since then. I am no longer driving a truck. That would come to an end in less than 10 months from this date. God would in time give me a job that I could focus more on my ministry with. It was good to look back today on this event of 5 years ago and see how far God has brought me. So below is a note called Answered Prayers.
There comes a time in one's life when they are confused and not sure what they want. They may think God wants something else and is trying to lead them in a different direction, but in reality you yourself may be wanting something else and change is not in God's plan at the moment. The last few weeks have been an emotional toll on me first with the passing of my grandfather, the closing of our terminal in OKC, not believing that PAM would do us right. I felt as though I was lied to with the uncertain future of my current job. However I've been praying for something that God would open doors to a job that will allow me to pursue my ministry that I have been called to. If I was going to take a new job I would lose my 3 weeks paid vacation a year plus the other time I'm allowed off it would be a lot to give up. But God said He will never leave us more forsake us and that he would give was the things we need if we seek first the kingdom of heaven. True to His word he answered my prayer and I did not see it at first. Even as I was still complaining about how the company was treating me and that there was no future there for me, this new lane I'm on allows me to be home every other night plus three day weekends Friday through Sunday one week and Saturday through Monday the next. Every other week I'll be able to attend Wednesday night services. We as a company got our 5% pay cut back that went to effect June of 2009, plus I just received a raise and the income I'll be making is very sufficient for what I will be working I thank God and give Him the glory for these blessings.
 Little did I know at the time I wrote this that the lane I was given would not last long and soon I was back to being gone more than I was home. The events of the next few months would prove that God was calling me away from driving a truck and into a different type of career that in itself I practice my ministry. I will be sharing more of these type stories as I go along.

Things I missed

I wrote this back in May of 2011, right before I retired form driving a truck. I hope you enjoy!


I saw the aftermath of Katrina
I’ve seen tornado ravaged towns
I’ve seen peoples livelihoods washed away by floods
I’ve seen forest and mountain sides ravaged by fires
...

I’ve driven through sleet, snow, and blizzards
I’ve fought wind, rain, and storms with zero visibility
I’ve witnessed peoples lives changed in a heartbeat
I’ve seen some come to an end
Ever time I do I think of my family I left at home
Thank God He always brought me home
I’ve chased the American dream
More money is why I took this trade
But the time has come to move on

I’ve seen the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans
Been to the Gulf of Mexico too
I’ve seen Mexico and Canada
And been to most points in between
45 of 48 continental states
Over 1,500,000 miles traveled
I’ve seen sites and wonders people dream to see
I’ve seen death and destruction
I’ve seen the Mercies, Miracles, and the Beauty of God
I’ve seen and witnessed things and events
People have seen on TV or read about in the paper
Along the way I found God
6 years I’ve traveled this land
Of all the things I’ve seen and witnessed
What matters to me are the things I’ve missed
My baby girls Taylor and Brittany were 8 and 5 when I started to drive
They will be 15 and 12 in just a few weeks
Along the way Alyssa was born she’s now 4
I will not waste anymore years
I’m turning in my keys I’m walking away
For all I’ve seen is not worth the things I’ve missed

Choices

I wrote this back in July of 2011, however it still holds true. 


As we live ore lives, we are faced with many choices some small, some great.  All these choices impact who you are. Where you’re at, where you’re going.  Sometimes you make choices that seem small;; and think they have little impact., but as time went by that choice made all the difference.  Then again we try to do something Grand and it fails or s...o you think.  Did it still not impact or change your life, maybe it affected someone you don’t even know.  Our choices we make, Our decisions, the things we say and do have a far greater impact on others than you may ever know.  Most of us I would dare to say are not the same person we were in High School.  Our choices we have made have help define the person we are today.  We learn from mistakes, we learn from heartaches, we learn from love.  I can look back on my life and see how my choices affected others and myself.   I know I’ve hurt people.  I know I’ve broken hearts, I know have let people down. I know my actions and words have impact on people It use to ne bad but now I try to use it for good.  I don’t know where Im going with these its not what I had planned when I started.  I want to tell of how we make choices and when we think it only affects us, we need to think again.  My choice to walk away from driving will have a far greater affect than Ill ever know.  But in doing so, I want to Quote Robert Frost in saying. “I took the road less traveled and it made all the difference.” Your choices will define what other people think of you your choices, decisions, actions, the things you say will define your character Is it good or bad?  I do want to point out that people look at what you say and do. But God doesn’t, God doesn’t let all your past decisions and choices define who you are.  You come to Him nasty and filthy stinking of sin and He will forgive you.  You become a new creation old things are passed away all things are new.  Your sins were crucified with Christ yet you live. Now all that you say and do, do for the glory of God Let God define who you are.  Let Him guide your decisions if you read your bible implement what it says in your life. Than your choices, and actions should be for the Glory of God. God has released me from driving.. He will use it for His glory.

       What is your salvation worth?  Are you willing to give up material things and status or position?  Phil 3:8 says “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”  Paul was a high ranking Pharisee.  Had great power and authority he gave it all up to follow Christ.  As we grow and mature in life and faith our priorities change.  Things that didn’t seem that important are now very important.  Just as things seemed very important are now hardly important at all.  Time is against us the sec we are born.  We do not know when we will die, or the ones we love will die.  I’m no different I have had love ones died that I wish I would of told them I love them one last time, or spent more time with them, or told them of the love of Christ.  We can’t change that, but we can change is the time we have now, The Bible tells us we are but a vapor in the wind here today gone tomorrow.  We are not to worry about tomorrow it has no guarantee live for today.  Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.  This verse and proverbs are so during my driving career I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen killed.  It affects me everything even when I wasn’t saved.  The Lord has granted me more time than I deserve.  For that I’m grateful.  So now this is what is important in my life. 1. God and the ministry He has called me to.  2.  My Marriage my Wife whom God has made for me.  We are as one.  3. My children whom God blessed my wife and I with.  Putting God First everything else will fall in place according to His will for your life.  Even after I was saved and called to the ministry I was committing a great Sin.  I was putting my career first; it was always interfering with what God has called me to do.  If what your doing interferes with God than its not in His will.  This is something I realized I was doing.  Don’t let your career interfere with God, Family, or your kids.  If so you are in danger of money and success being you idol.  Remember the rich young ruler.  Luke 18:18-30 in these verses Christ points out money is the young mans god.  He put his wealth first.  No different for anything else.  If you put your job, wife/husband or kids first in your life they become your idol.  Put God first and everything falls into place according to His will for your life.  This song has a lot of truth in it "American Dream" by Casting Crowns.  Don’t fall into this trap, no such thing as a little more time, its not guaranteed.. 

Fan or Follower? Which are you?

Are you fan or a follower?  Are you a true Christian? Do you love unconditional? Do you do things just to be noticed?  Or are they done out of love?  Who are you truly?

Are you like those spoke of in Matthew 7:21 -23?  "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?'  And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.” 

This plainly states that our works of righteousness will not get us into Heaven, no matter what we have done or how great it is it won’t pave the way.  These things are pretty impressive indeed most of us have not cast out demons.  Christ is saying if you do things and Love is not involved or the motive behind it, it is as filthy rags!

Jesus tells us to Love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39 says  And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Are your actions and deeds done out of Love? Do you love your neighbor as yourself, or do you judge them, talk hateful to them, look down on them,  turn your back on them in a time of need? 

In Luke 10 Jesus tells us a parable of showing love and mercy, Luke 10:27-37  And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."  And he said to him, "You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live."  But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?" Jesus replied, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion.  He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.  And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, 'Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.'  Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?"  He said, "The one who showed him mercy." And Jesus said to him, "You go, and do likewise."

Are you a fan or a Follower?  Do you walk as Jesus did?  Do you do things to be seen, do you do them out of love, or do you do them without the thought of reward or recantation?



John 6:53-71 says So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.  As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me.  This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever." Jesus said these things in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum.  When many of his disciples heard it, they said, "This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?"  But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, "Do you take offense at this?  Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?  It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But there are some of you who do not believe." (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.)  And he said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father."  After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the Twelve, "Do you want to go away as well?" Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God." Jesus answered them, "Did I not choose you, the Twelve? And yet one of you is a devil." He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the Twelve, was going to betray him.

If your fan when things get though or you’re offended by what’s said you will depart and follow no more. Do you turn from God when the Holy Spirit convicts your spirit? Do you run from God or deny Him when He is no longer convenient for you? Or do you stand Firm unshaken unmovable in your Faith? Will you stand for Christ at all cost?

If your life is about Love, loving your enemies, Giving when you cant give, giving to those less fortunate than you?  Don’t make excuses why you cant love that person. Christ loves us all regardless of who we are what we did or what we thought or said.  When people offend you, make you mad, do you wrong forgive them. Show them Love, mercy and compassion just as Christ showed you.  If you’re a follower you will do these things. Don’t be a fan, don’t be religious. Its about a intimate personal relationship built on love.  If you show Love than this holds true  1John 2:5-6 says “but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him:  whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”

Walk as Christ walked, Love as Christ loved for He said in John 15:12-13 "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

So are you a fan or follower? Do you do unselfish acts in thought of nothing in return? Or do you do acts to be seen and appreciated?

Service and Sacrifice

I wrote this for our March Newsletter for our church. I wish to share it with you.

                                                                             Service and Sacrifice

...

                With Discipleship Now Weekend just around the corner.   I wanted to take a look at what it means to serve and give unselfishly.  You all have already sacrificed your time before along with some weekends.  But the question is what’s the true reason behind that sacrifice?  The disciples gave up everything they had to follow Christ and they changed the world through their unselfish acts and spreading the Gospel.  Have we today become so complaisant and secure with our way of life that we have forgotten what it means to offer true sacrifice to the Lord?  Here in America we don’t face persecution for our Faith as those in other parts of the world. Just about every day you can turn on the world news and here about a Christian being persecuted or facing death for their faith in Christ. Being told if you renounce your faith you will keep your life. My question is this if faced with that decision what would your answer be? The bible tells us in  Matthew 16:24-26  Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?  Let’s look at this way how do you act in school when it comes to your faith, Do you stand up for Christ and what you believe, or do you turn from Christ to fit in with friends or to be so called cool?  Do you act as a Christian or do stand around in gossip and slander those you know? Your actions here in school would have a great effect on how you could answer that question if ever faced with it.  Do you take up your cross and follow Christ daily? Do you deny yourself?  Are you willing to lose your life to find it? If you can’t answer those questions with a quick yes, you might want to take a look at yourself.  Another way you can check your faith is this how do you serve the Lord? The Bible says a lot about how we sacrifice and serve the Lord. It’s not a game; it’s not something to take lightly. The condition of your heart will reveal a lot too on how you serve.  Do you do things with a willing heart or do you do it because you feel you have to? 2Chronicals_29:31  Then Hezekiah said, "You have now consecrated yourselves to the LORD. Come near; bring sacrifices and thank offerings to the house of the LORD." And the assembly brought sacrifices and thank offerings, and all who were of a willing heart brought burnt offerings.  We talked about this if you are going to serve the Lord do it with a willing heart. Don’t do it because you’re being forced to do it. Have a willing heart when you serve the Lord if you do it grudgingly check yourself check and see if you are truly walking with God.   Psa_44:21  Shall not God search this out? for he knoweth the secrets of the heart. We can’t hide our motives from God or our conscience . He knows the state of our heart when we serve. Genesis 4:3-7  In the course of time Cain brought to the LORD an offering of the fruit of the ground, and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. The LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it."  The reason God rejected the offering from Cain was not because it was from a garden it was the condition of his heart. He gave it because he thought he had to. He didn’t give it with a willing heart. Likewise if you serve the Lord and give with a hostile heart as one being forced to serve likewise your offering and sacrifice will be rejected. 1Corinthians 3:11-15  For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.  Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw-- each one's work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire Your service and offering will be looked at by God, and He will ask you how you served Him with what you were given. Do you really want everything you thought you labored for burned up? Or do you want to hear will done my true and faithful child Great is your reward. At your age I know you’re bombarded with demands and things people ask or want you to do. I am aware you have things to do outside the service of God. But to be Honest we are to do everything with the Glory of God in mind. Everything we do is to be done for the glory of God.   2Co 9:7  Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. When we do these service and mission projects this month remember why you’re doing it and for whom, not just the person we will be helping but remember we are doing it for God. Do it with a willing heart.

Be Strong, Never Surrender?

2 Corinthians 12:10  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

In Kearny, Nebraska there is a monument to the pioneers that moved out west. It is a covered wagon with a plaque on it that says "The cowards never left, the weak died along the way only the strong survived!"

According to the world view this is true! We are told never to give up, fight for what you want, we are told to never be weak!

However the only way we will be strong is if we accept and acknowledge our weakness. The only way we will ever gain is to surrender all!

Even after I was saved I was lying to myself and God. I refused to admit that I couldn't handle my problems on my own under my own strength and power. I had not surrendered all to Christ, but yet I was bragging about what God had delivered me from. Yet all my addictions and weaknesses were not removed. Much like Paul I was left with a thorn in my flesh to keep me humbled to remind me that I'm not perfect, that I still must relay upon Gods mercy, grace and strength! I refused to see it till Youth Camp this year when Runks Runkles gave his testimony.  Numerous times I have asked God to remove it, I even confessed them to another person in whom I trusted in hope of them being lifted from me. Relieing upon my own strength I would stumble time and time again, till it sunk in that I must relay on God if not I would continue to stumble.  I had to admit, confess that I was powerless over it that I could not do it on my own strength, or power. Relieing on my own strength brought only defeat!  When I acknowledged that I couldn't do it that I had to relay upon God admitting that I was weak. Then I was able to overcome these addictions and temptations only by trusting in God fully depending upon His Grace!  Under my own strength I am powerless over my addictions, temptations and the thorn in my flesh!  Anger and depression I have battled for most of my life. I am now getting help with these. It is something you don't have to battle alone. It is no different than any other infirmities that someone may get. Don't try to go at it alone.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake:
 
I am nothing outside His Power and Grace
for when I am weak, then am I strong.

The great unknown

Hard decisions? What path do you take do you go the less painful or do you go to the areas of unknown?  Areas that put your faith and trust to the limit!   Do you leave your comfort zone, your security to go to the unfamiliar arena?  When you hear people speak is God speaking through them expressing what you should do?  Should you question what you hear and think or just close your eyes and jump right in?  Looking at pros and cons you think of it is easy to see the comfort zone and the unknown. At times it my appear that the unknown would be more beneficial, however you have to have faith.  If God is controlling the situation I believe you will be able to tell early on.  If it is God guiding you, if you listen and obey you might be surprised at and where God leads you. 

Nation apart from God

The political divide in this nation is great it seems to me that no one can remember the actual history of events.  Rather it be Republicans or Democrats I personally am disgusted with both parties neither one holds true to what is right in God's eyes, more less mine!  As I have said previously it is not a war on flesh or blood that we are fighting here, but one of spiritual nature! The forces we fight against we cannot see but we know that they are there. Demonic activity is on the rise for they know that their time is near they try to attempt to influence those in power and often succeed in doing just that.   I however hold to my Conservative and Christian beliefs and no liberal Democrat or Republican will change that!  We have seem to have forgotten history and want to believe whatever someone tells us if we seem to like it. No one seems to know any longer what to stand for or what they actually believe!   Only one thing stands true and that is God and His Word!  It plainly tells us what is going to happen and all these things going on around us is to fulfil what is written in those pages!   I know things are not going get better any time soon, this nation and the world will continue to spiral down till the Day of Gods Wrath comes upon us.  My hope is in God and the deliverance He has brought me!  Even though I might die for what I believe I stand firm in knowing that God has my soul! And for that I pray for the day when delivers us all who trust in Him from the wickedness of this world! However till then I will speak the truth and show the light of God in all I do.  

The Spiritual Battle that we wage!

As believers and followers of Christ we are ever so engaging in battles in the flesh and spirit.  There is a lot going on that we don't agree with, things that stir a righteous anger with in us!  So how are we to act when this righteous anger builds up?  The Bible tells us to be angry and not sin, and for the sun not to go down on your anger. 
  We as Christians are called   to

Ephesians 5:11-14 ESV

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

We are also called to be more than conquers in Christ Jesus!  We are to love others as our self's, but at times we must protect those who are weak, those being taken advantage of and used for evil purposes!  If this meaning rebuking evil to protect the innocent than so be it!  Our  love should compel us to act!  You say we are to love everyone and treat all the same regardless of what they say or do?  We are to tolerate their actions? You hypocrite you don't even do what you say, even though you are in the dark!  If your family came under an attack, you would defend them!  You would not think that the pretor should be treated the same as your family! 
   The battle we wage is not in the flesh but in the spirit!  And I will defend those who are helpless from the powers and principalities of darkness!  I will make them aware of the danger they are facing if they don't change their ways!  The love we have for our children (if you love them) you will make them aware of what they are doing and how it could harm them.  And if possible we will take measures to prevent that harm from coming.  It is no different for them as it is for God's children.  We are the hands and feet of Christ!  Being followers of Christ we can not just set back and be passive about what is going on in this world!  If you love God as you say that you do, then you will love your neighbor as yourself!  You being a follower of Christ I hope you would not be engaged in destructive practices that could harm yourself or your relationship with Christ.  Like wise those who practice destructive lifestyles we should make them aware of what they are doing to save them from hell! 
  This is a spiritual battle that we all are engaged in this world! For if we don't have the whole Armor Of God  on during battle we will act out in anger and sin! 
But if we are prepared and fully equipped with sword and armor this anger is righteous. This anger this righteous anger in us should drive us to do what is right in the eyes of God to protect those whom the world seeks to destroy!  We must rebuke the evil that we see in the world in the name of Jesus Christ!  You are engaged in a battle, if you are in battle than you fight! Do not flee for we already know that we have already won the war through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior!   For we also know that we are more than conquers through Christ Jesus who dwells with in us!  There for I will not be silent on the evil that fights against us. I am prepared to go to the front lines if God so chooses to place me there.  

Ephesians 6:10-18 ESV

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

Issues with symbols

First and foremost above all else I am a follower and servant of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
I am an American placed in this nation at Birth under God's great provision and grace In the greatest nation on the face of the earth to live!   I am very grateful for the blood that was shed and is being shed that has brought this nation to freedom and is still protecting that freedom!
God in His great divine planning choose to place me in the South to be raised to be taught and to live!  By the grace of God I am a Southerner.
I am able to fly a Christian Flag, The American Flag, and the Confederate Flag  if I so choose!  All three of these are symbols of my heritage!  All three principles make up who we are.  All this nonsense going on is not about the 10 commandment monument at the Capitol or the flag we choose to fly. But rather the problem goes so much deeper! People are just looking for something so they can be angry and vent! People have died under all three of these flags for what they believed in!  Atrocities have been committed under all three of these flags! If you want to ban one ban them all!   Our God is so much more than a monument or a flag We the People are so much more then the flag we choose to fly! These symbols are not the issue the world the flesh are the real issue!

Looking to Christ

At times it may seem as though everything is falling apart around you. Personal issues with family, things with your life, finances, dreams, things at work and the list keeps going on. It is easy to start looking at all this and fall into despair. Your faith is being tested are you looking to the world freighted by the storm your in? Or are you looking to Christ who gives you strength? I am at this point now! If it was not for Christ I would be drowning in a pool of despair in self pity. My flesh wants to revert to old habits of alcohol and drown out sorrow only to increase the misery that I would feel. Life is not easy the Christian life is not easy but you can find peace with God in times of trial. Much like Peter we need to walk by faith and not by sight. For if we walk by sight the world the storm the waves of life will overcome us drowning us in fear. God has commanded us to be strong and courageous be not afraid  or dismayed for the Lord your God goes before you. Often we wonder how we got to the place we are at or why it is happening to you. We need not ask why but know that your faith is being refined For when we omit that we are week we are made strong in Christ. Knowing that whatever circumstance you are in that this promise holds true. All things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Our reliance upon God is crucial if you are to survive in this life. keep your eyes upon Christ and this world will not overcome you.

Hurt and betrayal

Loss, the hurt, betrayal, the anger you feel when there is nothing you can do! Time invested seems all but a loss with nothing to gain.  But God knows the things you did the sacrifices paid. The difference you made in peoples lives. The story may not of ended the way that you wish, but you did your best and your not to blame. You can move on knowing that you tried, having a clear conscience and no regret. God is in control I know that's true! We learn from what we lived and from that wisdom is gained. Life doesn't always go the way we would like, but have faith it will work for your benefit in the long run.  Trials in our life our used to grow us closer to God if you trust in Him. Right now we see only in part, some day we will see it all and know why those things that we did not like where allowed to happen in our lives. Trust in God in all things giving Him glory and praise knowing that all things work toward your good.

Walking away from the Faith

I will never understand why people who have experienced the light and clam to be believers want to live in the dark. Being made aware of the damage of the life they are choosing to live. With the comment "Don't you want me to be happy?" Love we have for people is strong, Gods love is strong! He wish none to parish! But the choice is yours! It is better for you to have never seen the light and perish then to have seen the light and turned away. Its hard for me to believe that you right with God when you willingly engage in a life destructive life style after being made aware of the danger. It is selfless to say don't you want me to be happy? God never promised us happiness which depends on outside factors. But He did promise joy and peace which comes from obedience. Why must you focus on the flesh and the world for satisfaction instead of focusing on God the author of peace and joy which comes from the inside. When we look to the world and flesh for happiness all we will find is misery,  despair and ultimately emptiness. Don't be deceived earthly happiness brings loss and soon death. If you know God turn from
your earthly desires and pursue his righteousness. How could of you repented if you keep doing the same thing again and again. Change the way you live your life now before its to late! Stop resisting the Holy Spirit and hardening your heart to a point that you will no longer hear Him and when God turns you over to your own desires. My love for those who live in sin is great! As God does not want anyone to parish nether do I! No I don't want you to be happy if it cost you your soul! If you are saved than live the life that honors God and not the flesh!